Everything you need to know to get started.
Going at it from behind is not a new phenomenon for folks of any gender or sexual identity. And while “pegging” may be a more recent addition to the anal play lexicon, it’s hardly a newfangled concept. Succinctly put, back-door action feels good—whether or not your partner is anatomically capable of penetrating you from behind.
Coined in 2001 by sex columnist Dan Savage, the term initially referred to a female donning a strap-on to anally penetrate her male partner. Now, the notion has broadened to more widely reflect anyone penetrating anyone else—but the idea is that the penetration must be a) anal, and b) utilize the strap-on rather than a different available body part.
Of course, pegging can feel like something of an aggressive term. So if you’re new to the notion, it checks out that you might find feel skittish about jumping in. That’s why we’ve put together a beginner’s guide to dipping a toe—or a strap-on—into the water. Here’s everything you need to know the get started.
Why does pegging feel good?
Well, most people with penises have a prostate gland that’s full of nerves, which can be accessed through anal penetration. In many cases, this is called your P-spot. And if it’s accessed correctly, it can even give way to what’s known as a prostate orgasm—which can be incredibly potent. That said, the anal canal and entrance have tons of nerves, even without addressing the P-spot, so for anyone at all, anal penetration can still feel both good and stimulative.
How should I address it with my partner?
We would not advise that you show up at your partner’s house with a strap-on already in place as a way of broaching the subject. Nor would we advise that you commute anywhere with a strap-on affixed to your body. Rather, we’d recommend experimenting with anal play with your hands or perhaps a small anal plug first. Once you’ve broken the seal—or determined that this is a realm of intimacy you and your partner enjoy engaging in together—then bring up the whole pegging bit. And as a pair, perhaps spend some time together selecting the right strap-on for you. Either way, like with anything else intimacy-related, consent is key—even if the person in question is your long-term partner.
Why is pegging so popular amongst heterosexual couples?
While anal penetration may feel slightly more novel for heterosexual couples, pegging provides a unique opportunity. For men being penetrated, it stimulates that P-spot, and for women wearing strap-ons, the repeated motion can feel good against the clitoris or the pubic mound in a way that feels similar to dry humping (some harnesses even include a pocket for a small vibrator). Which is to say, both parties are getting something out of it. And better yet, this particular version of role reversal can be an exciting way for couples to liven things up in the bedroom.
What do you wear?
Dressing for appropriate strap-on usage does, indeed, require some tools. You can go one of two routes here—either a dildo with a harness or an already assembled strap-on apparatus. The upside of the former is that you’ve got more customization options. The receiver has the freedom to pick a dildo they’ll particularly enjoy being penetrated with while the giver can select a harness they enjoy wearing or assume will be most pleasurable (usually, harnesses come underwear-style or straight-up strap-on style). That said, if you’re just getting started, a one-and-done strap-on is ideal, purely for ease. Then, once you’re a seasoned pegger, you can get a bit more choosy with your options.
Should you use lube?
The short answer—and the long answer—is yes. Lube can be the difference between an unpleasant friction-forward experience and, well, the opposite. So be sure that no matter what dildo or strap-on apparatus you’ve selected (we recommend medical-grade silicone always!), you’re lathering up before sliding on in.
