A Field Guide To Couch Sex.
The essential dos and don’ts of sofa sexcapades.
Alongside car sex, shower sex, and, well, bed sex, you’ve likely got one more staple locale for doing the deed: the couch. The logical center of any standard home, Americans tend to spend nearly 1,000 hours a year seated on their couches. So it follows that, at some point within that obscene stretch, you and a partner have found yourselves engaged in some steamy sofa play.
That said, couch-based intercourse can be plenty of touch-and-gos (quite literally so). There’s limited real estate available—which makes for a whole lot of flailing limbs. There’s the distinct possibility that you’ll bang an arm into a nearby chair or topple a pile of coffee table books, shifting positions requires masterful agility, and the likelihood of a roommate or family member popping in unannounced is far higher than in the bedroom.
Nevertheless, having sex on the couch can be wildly fun. For one, it allows you to live in the moment—you can go from watching a movie to making out, to getting laid, all without having to choreograph the awkward shuffle to the bedroom. It can also feel like a fun change of pace: Couch sex isn’t exactly risqué, but if you’re used to just doing it in bed, it can feel particularly exciting.
Throwing a little versatility into your sexcapades is never a bad thing, and the whole right here-right now the bit that often comes with not quite making it to the bedroom is undeniably steamy. So, concerning your next bout of couch sex, keep the following in mind for maximum pleasure—a little planning can go a long way to make a spur-of-the-moment decision even sexier for everyone involved.
Mind your materials
Depending on what your couch is made of, you’ll wanna take care. No matter how steamy the sex, rubbing up against raw wool will almost certainly leave half your body with itchy, rashy soars. If you know your couch doesn’t do well with friction—or the material is precious enough to protect from...bodily fluids—be sure to keep several soft throw blankets on hand to line your sofa with pre-intercourse.
Use all parts of the couch to your advantage
Instead of quickly tossing all your throw pillows to the ground, consider making good use of everything the couch has to offer. Prop yourself up on the pillows for any form of oral, be sure to use your sofa’s arms for new angles of approach, or try hoisting yourself up on the back for some better leverage. Be creative: for the time being, this is your adult jungle gym. Treat it as such.
Be wary of guests
Whether you’ve got roommates, kids in the house, a cleaning lady who occasionally pops by, or just a set sidewalk facing windows, remember that you are likely in the center of your home. There’s limited privacy, so to speak. Do with that information what you will.
Use the lack of space to your advantage
Ok so, it’s a tad hard to maneuver whilst on a couch, but being that you have ample other opportunities to have sex in more spacious locales, try to use your limited environs for, well, pleasure. We have it on good authority that the couch makes for prime 69ing space (you can fit if you’re stacked!), but it’s well worth trying any number of new seated, cross-legged positions here as well. Who knows, maybe you’ll even take one of ‘em back to the bedroom.
Set the scene
You might have your bedroom ambiance all set, but you should also pay heed to anything that might take you out of the moment while you’re getting to it on the sofa. Make sure that breakable coffee tables and spillable drinks are safely out of the way, and take a second to make sure whatever you’re watching or listening to still feels right at the moment. If you were in the middle of a romantic movie, for instance, feel free to let it continue, but you might not want your couch sex session to be interrupted by Paul Hollywood’s opinion on a particularly dry loaf of bread. Save the Bake Off binge for later and quickly switch to a go-to playlist. Yes, it’s worth it.
Try different couch sex positions
Depending on your flexibility—and the side of your couch—not all positions will be on the (metaphorical) table. If your first attempt isn’t working, don’t be afraid to switch things up until you find a position that both you and your partner can enthusiastically agree on. Here are some of the best sex positions for the couch.
Taking a seat
Have one partner sit on the sofa normally, albeit close to the edge. The other partner sits on top of them, with their legs tucked under them (basically, in a reverse straddle). For extra security, the partner on the bottom should hold the top partner’s hips or torso.
This one’s ideal if your sofa doesn’t have its back against a wall: One partner kneels on the sofa, facing backward, while the other penetrates them from behind. Consider it the middle ground between all-fours and standing doggy.
This position mimics what a strategically placed pillow can do during sex: Have one partner lean over the sofa’s armrest (and ideally, place an ottoman on the other side of it for max comfort) while the other partner penetrates them from behind.
Either forwards or in reverse, cowgirl is one of the best couch sex positions. It works well on a long sofa; the partner on top gets to control how slow or fast—and how deep—they go.
Don’t rule out the floor
Ok so yes you’re having sex on the couch, but know that you can, in fact, still use the floor to your advantage. Try keeping one foot on the floor and propping the other on the couch for a new penetrative angle, think about the ways you can stagger yourself for better oral, or even try lifting your partner (think: like a wheelbarrow). Or, if you find that the couch isn’t working for you—and the bedroom seems just too far away—there’s always the rug.