the dos and don'ts of the bedroom.
Living

the dos and don'ts of the bedroom.

Published
Sep 27, 2022
Author
Rebecca Deczynski

Making your space optimal for intimacy.

When the heat of the moment leads you to the bedroom, that change in scenery should improve your intimacy—but the space where the magic happens isn’t always quite so magical. The bed frame that creaks even when you’re just sleeping and the sheets that overheat when more than one person is under them do nothing good for your sex life. Luckily, these factors are easy to fix.

If you want a sexy bedroom, it’s just a question of prioritizing cleanliness and comfort. You don’t have to transform your space into a bonafide pleasure den to make it more amenable to intimate moments. All you really need to do is think a little more about how you can create a space that feels relaxing at its core.

These sexy bedroom ideas make for a more pleasant living experience even on nights when you’re not getting it on—and the ones when you do all the better.

Bed frame

Do: Have a bed frame to begin with—lest you fall into the mattress-on-the-floor cliché.

Don’t: End up with one that squeaks so much it ruins the vibe or shake so much that your downstairs neighbors starts hitting their ceiling with a broom in retaliation. Combat any potential noise by removing the mattress, tighten all the bolts with a screwdriver, and lubricate them a little. 

Mattress

Don’t: That old coil mattress can also contribute to the noise effect. Meanwhile, some memory foam mattresses can err on the side of being too squishy, which makes it even harder to try that position you’ve been considering. On top of all that, they can trap heat, making things a bit steamier than you’d like. 

Do: Find the right balance with a firm hybrid mattress (which contains two types of support for just the right comfort) and consider a topper with a cooling surface if you run warm.

Sheets

Don’t: Sure, ’70s pornos and cheesy honeymoon suites may have associated satin sheets with pure romance, but they’re slippery and much harder to clean than other options. 

Do: Stick with something simpler: If you love the crispness of hotel sheets, go for percale, and if you like bedding that’s a little more lived-in, try linen, which has the bonus of being temperature regulating. 

Pillows

Do: Have a firm cushion or two that are good on hand—essentially, to be used as support for whatever position you choose. You can buy a wedge pillow specially made for the deed, but a DIY stack is perfectly fine, too. 

Don’t: Let worn-out cushions get in the way of your comfort, whether you’re sleeping or having a good romp. Generally, pillows should be replaced every one to two years (yes, really). Whether or not you top your bed with decorative throw pillows is a personal choice, but when you’re getting intimate, they can get in the way—so just throw them to the side. 

Lighting

Do: Lights on or off is a personal decision, but if you’re wondering how to make a bedroom sexier, mood lighting is key. If you’re getting to it at night, a warm-toned bulb will make it easier to fall asleep afterward. That, and it will have a much cozier vibe than your overheads—lamps are your friend. If you want to get advanced, consider Bluetooth-operated, color-changing light bulbs, which will give you full control of the brightness and hue of your bedroom lighting. Candles are also certainly welcome (more on that in a bit). 

Don’t: Rely on harsh overheads. No one needs that kind of illumination in their life.

Bed Size

Do: A nice, big bed is an essential piece of sexy bedroom furniture. A king-size bed is true luxury—and makes it much easier to co-sleep with a partner who tosses and turns at night—though a queen is perfectly acceptable. For true comfort, consider the Scandinavian-style split duvet (basically, just two duvets on one bed), which prevents cover-hogging.

Don’t: Rely on anything smaller than a full. If your bedroom can only fit a twin—small space struggles are real—then consider moving things to the sofa instead. Or the floor. Or the bathroom.

Wall Art

Do: Fill your space with art that you generally like, and invest in frames that make it look even better (even if they’re from Target or IKEA). You don’t want your bedroom to look like a college freshman’s dorm room—so skip the tapestries and clichéd posters.

Don’t: Go so minimalistic that someone might wonder if you do live in your home. And keep the photos of your family off your nightstand, no matter how much you love them—the living room is a safer bet.

Candles

Do: Light them! Mood lighting, as previously mentioned, can make a huge difference to the ambiance of a space. Scent is highly personal, so choose something that both you and your partner vibe with. If you want to go the extra mile, opt for candles that are made with skin-safe wax

Don’t: Mix too many scents at once. And don’t forget to blow them out before you fall asleep.

Desk

Do: Keep it out of your room if you can. If that’s not realistic, just make sure that you keep it as neat as possible.

Don’t: Leave your to-do list and paperwork out in view. Clutter is anything but sexy.

Little Details

Do: Fill your space with things that make you feel relaxed, whether that’s a sound machine, light filtering curtains, or an essential oil diffuser. 

Don’t: Allow so much stuff to accumulate in your room that it starts to feel…crowded.

Wall Colors

Do: Opt for warm-toned neutrals—think soft grays, tans, greens, and warm whites.

Don’t: Choose a color that could be considered a “bold statement”—because chances are, it will get old real fast.

Cleanliness

Do: Declutter, wash your sheets, and make sure that your partner’s nightstand isn’t covered in dust. Of all the sexy ideas for the bedroom, a pristine space is probably the sexiest. 

Don’t: Make excuses for why your room is a mess—especially if you knew you were expecting company. (Sorry!)

the dos and don'ts of the bedroom.

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