The best non-bedroom spots for sex. – maude Skip to content

The best non-bedroom spots for sex.

The best non-bedroom spots for sex.

For when pillow talk gets dull.

Sex outside the bedroom can certainly be overrated. It’s unlikely that joining the mile high club, or boning on the beach, will actually amount to your highest quality intercourse. Yes, a little novelty is important, but when it comes to breaking up your classic mattress monotony, you need not always seek out the absolute most outlandish alternatives. Sometimes, pivoting to a new locale, or even merely a new room can provide much needed variety (the spice of life, as they say). 

Nevertheless, there’s a reason—beyond privacy and general pre-slumber intimacy—that we opt for bed-based fornication: It works. It provides the right sturdy-to-soft ratio—while offering ample room for a battery of different positions (as well as movement therein). So, with that in mind, when you’re looking to branch out without reverting to, say, banging in the back of someone’s mom’s SUV, we’ve culled together a list of the five best places for actually good sex, beyond the throes of your bed. 

Your washing machine

We cannot, in good faith, recommend that you fornicate at your local laundromat — but if you are indeed the sort of person with an in-unit washing machine, boy do we have some news for you: Not only does the format of a washer/dryer work conveniently as a surface on which to bone (low and flat enough for easy access), but you have the bonus option to add a vibrating and warming element to the mix. Plus, the sound will drown out any potential moans for nearby children, or prying neighbors. 

An armchair 

While likely just as plush and soft as your bed, the upright structure of an armchair offers countless opportunities that a flat mattress does not. The thing provides endless angles at which to go at it — while also requiring minimal effort from both parties. 

Your kitchen counter

There’s something eternally and inarguably hot about kitchen sex: It’s a room designed for wholesome revelry and cleanliness —  and there you are, doing the nasty. That said, there are plenty of surfaces to grab at, and most counters are the ideal height for hoisting. Plus, snacks abound once you’re finished. 

Your backyard

Whether you’ve got an actual backyard — or more of a porch/balcony/fire escape situation — al fresco sex without leaving home is always a great idea. Not only will you enjoy the luxury of fresh air and outdoor ambiance, but you can return home to shower, change, grab some water, or bang somewhere else, whenever you like. It’s like camping, with no stakes. Plus, a bit of potential exhibitionism is always a spicy addition both in and out of the bedroom. 

Your living room floor

Don’t underestimate the floor! Yes, we’d suggest going for carpeted territory, but a firm sprawling surface like, say, your living room rug leaves so much room for activities. To a degree, it feels rugged (get it?) and spontaneous — while at the same time, you’ve got the ease of all your favorite bedroom positions available to you. Plus, you can relish in cosplaying as some of your favorite kindred televised couples — the likes of whom have also done the deed on the floor (think: Bridgerton or Sex & The City)

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