how to join the mile-high club. | maude - sex made simple.

how to join the mile-high club.

credit: Photo by Joel Barwick on Unsplash

For as long as there have been commercial passenger planes, people have been having sex on them (some, admittedly, more discreetly than others). As sexy as it sounds, though, getting it on while up in the air is often awkward—and uncomfortable.

So if you’re looking to earn your membership to the mile-high club, here’s how to navigate sex on a plane.

Be considerate.

Chances are you’re never being as stealthy as you think you are. So while it might be tempting (and a huge turn on, if discovery fantasies are your thing) to get frisky right there in your seats, try to be considerate of your fellow passengers—that strategically placed blanket probably isn’t fooling anyone. Confine your mile-high antics to the airplane’s bathroom, so that even if everyone suspects what’s going on, they don’t have to watch it.

Dress for the occasion.

Ever tried to get changed in an airplane bathroom? Space is definitely tight—so imagine trying to remove your clothes when there are two people jammed in there. Make sure your traveling outfit is amenable to easy access—dresses, long skirts, and sweatpants will make your inflight sexual antics much more convenient.

Leave the acrobatics for after landing.

Given how cramped you’re likely to be, you’ll probably only be able to manage the most basic positions. Standing doggy-style will likely be your best bet (don’t even try sitting on the sink) or have one partner seated on the closed toilet lid with the other on top. If all else fails, a dexterous hand job or oral sex can be just as satisfying.

Prep your exit in advance.

Whether you consider it a victory march or a walk of shame, you’ll both have to make your way back to your seats at some stage—and will likely receive a few pointed looks on the way.  So either stagger your exit to make it less obvious or simply bask in the glory of your achievement. And if you happen to get caught mid-romp, you can always play the “one of us was sick” card ... if only to save face with the flight attendant who knows exactly what you were doing.

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