Is Your Dog Watching You Have Sex? – maude Skip to content

Is your dog watching you have sex?

Is your dog watching you have sex?

Who’s a good boy?

As far as sexual spectatorship goes, most of us are reluctant to allow, say, our roommates, a full frontal view of our escapades––unless, of course, they happen to be drooly, four-legged creatures with the occasional proclivity for doing their business on the floor (read: dogs). 

The age-old “is my dog watching me have sex?” query has been surfacing for about as long as we’ve been domesticating canines (and, sans, consent, declaring them our “best friends”). So, you might as well know the truth: Yes. The vast majority of dog owners are well aware that it’s not rare per se, for a dog to wander in and stare somewhat enraptured while their resident humans engage in intercourse. Plenty of vets can attest: Most dogs will, in fact, ogle. This is normal. Which raises a secondary, far more pressing question: Does your dog know you’re having sex?

Well: It’s complicated. At a bare minimum, odds are, your 'Very Good Boy' knows that something is happening. Because dogs are so often objects of affection, they tend to be thoroughly aware of the increased attention and activity between humans. Sure, they might not comprehend the intricacies of full-on penetration but they’re aware that an event is transpiring (in other words, they know you’re not just “sleeping”). 

For more uniquely protective, territorial dogs (think: Dobermans, Rottweilers, German Shepherds), sex can feel invasive. As your guardian, doggos of these breeds might feel sex is a threat to you. They may feel like it’s their duty to stand at attention. In some cases, particularly loyal dogs will even bar your partner from entering a bedroom in the hopes of protecting 'Their Master'. 

For gentler breeds, rather than danger, watching you bone may inspire jealousy. I mean, here’s this dude. He calls you his best friend. He says he loves you. He feeds you and gives you tennis balls to shove in your mouth. And now he’s expressing his utmost affection to someone else? (We’ll spare you the obvious “balls in mouth” joke here). 

So, succinctly put, Spike probably doesn’t know why, exactly, you’re naked––or why your room smells just a little different after this particular version of horizontal exercise. But your canine pal does, in fact, know that something is going on––and yes, he’s watching. Surely it’s not quite so traumatic as stumbling in on your parents banging (dog brains and human brains are, after all, not the same), but that doesn’t mean your dog isn’t enduring an emotional response to your intimate acts. So maybe, I don’t know, consider closing the door? 

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