As a part of our maudern people series, we asked New York-based couple Yi-Mei Truxes and her husband Gray Reinhard for insights on modern intimacy. Truxes is an alum of Vogue and the founder of the accessories brand Bembien.
What is your relationship status?
Married eight months. Together ten years.
With social distancing & quarantine, how has human contact changed for you?
Gray and I tend to be a bit more introverted, but wow has this experience taught us how much we love, need (and in a lot of ways—depend on) human contact. The grass always seems to be greener…and when you live in NYC, you’re always trying to find ways to get away from the crowds. But now we yearn to get back to crowding around a dinner table, squeezing through a crowded bar, cramming onto a packed subway car. Just seeing crowds of people on the street—who would have thought that would be something you could take for granted? We’re going to leave quarantine with a whole new appreciation for human contact in general.
We’re going to leave quarantine with a whole new appreciation for human contact in general.
How do you make time for intimacy?
We take two walks together every day. One in the morning with our coffee to the end of our driveway (which is about a mile!), and one at night...usually with a drink...as the sun is setting. It sounds simple, but it adds a small, meaningful, and reliable routine to the day, and serves as a time to check in on one another.
How has your perspective on your home/space changed?
We’ve been staying up at our cabin in the Catskills, which previously had been just a weekend spot for us. It was pretty eye-opening at first… the space is designed for part-time living (no TV, for example!). But it’s made us appreciate a simpler way of living. Maybe we don’t need all of the amenities we thought we did?
How do you keep busy? Do you separate the weekend and weekdays?
We try to keep a pretty strict routine during the week, focusing on work and staying mentally and physically healthy as best we can. On weekends we launch into home renovation projects (we are fixing up a cabin, and the list of projects is endless). By Sunday night, we make sure all projects are put away and try to recreate the “Sunday night” winding-down-feeling of getting ready for a new week. It’s hard, but we are trying to maintain some semblance of a normal routine.
What is a new activity you are planning to try?
I am about to start a garden for the first time! And Gray has been clearing overgrown areas of the property (his new hobby has been transplanting pine trees to healthier areas). We’ve never spent this much time up at our cabin—so it has been fun preparing for the spring.
Do you have a book or movie on your list while home?
A group of friends and I are starting a mini remote book club. We’re beginning with How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, which I’ve heard is excellent…and of course, very fitting.