Can shared grooming deepen sensual bonds?
For a culture so hellbent on sensual couple baths and showers, we give remarkably little consideration to razors as a tool for intimacy and foreplay. And while some of this neglect must be due to laziness and personal preference, it is also worth noting how shaving is promoted to consumers--as a solo project, and one with which we must have a relationship founded on shame, not sexiness.
Beards moved in and out of fashion throughout the centuries, as did pubic and armpit hair on women. But in the early 20th century, a drive for profit led to a few propagandizing marketing strategies, which largely depicted women’s body hair as unclean, suggesting that it should be removed in private, away from the unadulterated eyes of high society. Quick!
And for men, shaving was promoted as a largely private and pre-gamey endeavor; if we combined the last 30 years of men’s grooming commercials, we would see a muscular gentleman in a wifebeater shaving alone, in his windowless, Dude Cave bathroom, the promise of sex, respect, and a 6 figure salary aglow in his eyes.
We are slowly recovering from these shame and power-based fever dreams, but shaving is still largely advertised as an act of individualism, only now in “reaction” to tired narratives of the past; today, through our grooming choices, we can assert our personal style--we can do anything we want to our own bodies--as long as no one is looking. With this logic, the act of getting “shaved” by another person may feel threatening and intrusive.
But our cultural insistence on shaving as a symbol of individualism has led to a tragedy of missed opportunities, because, if we break shaving down into separate components, it is one of the most stimulating acts in a grooming routine.
Firstly, there are tons of nerve endings where hair grows, thus shaving involves stimulating the most erogenous zones of our bodies: face, armpit, thighs, genitals, and so on. Secondly, in order to shave these areas safely, you usually apply creams and oils to the skin, often rubbing them in, in order to increase blood flow and reduce likelihood of razor bumps. And finally, you put a sharp object against the skin and slowly, carefully, slice off your hair.
Through mutual shaving, couples can touch one another sensually, build trust, and raise the stakes in ways they may find surprisingly stimulating. Shaving is also an opportunity to explore forms of intimacy outside of sex, which will only work to enhance connection when it comes time to enter the bedroom.
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