Is Gift-Giving A Turn On?
Our most seasonal love language.
Giving and receiving are essential ingredients in any healthy relationship (wink wink). But come holiday season, both verbs take on a more literal meaning: gifts. Between November and February, there’s a near-impossible number of occasions to exchange presents. So, does gift-giving actually strengthen a romantic relationship? Can opening a gift from your partner make you more attracted to them? Is it a turn-on?
Know what they want.
The answer might come down to how well someone knows you. Research on gift-giving has found a persistent gap between what people think makes a great gift and what recipients actually want. Translation: an expensive present isn’t necessarily a thoughtful one. Sometimes, remembering someone’s obscure favorite snack says more than a designer handbag ever could.
And the gesture itself matters. A 2025 study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that receiving a small material gift, like flowers or a candy bar, improved people’s moods more than a supportive conversation did. A gift can be tangible evidence that someone thought about you outside the immediate moment. In a relationship, that’s a pretty compelling message to send.
Quality time, gift-wrapped.
As for whether that translates into attraction, the science is less definitive. There’s no evidence that unwrapping a present automatically triggers romantic desire. But feeling appreciated and understood by a partner? That’s hardly a bad place to start.
The kind of gift matters, too. Research published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that experiential gifts, from concert tickets to cooking classes, strengthened relationships more than material gifts did. The reason? The emotional experience of a gift can matter more than the object itself. Think of it as gifting something to look forward to, enjoy, and reminisce about long after the wrapping paper has been recycled.
A gift with benefits.
There’s also something intimate about sharing a piece of yourself. A study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that gifts reflecting the giver’s own interests and identity could increase feelings of closeness. A favorite book, a beloved album, or an inside-joke souvenir can offer a glimpse into someone’s world. The best gifts make the recipient feel seen while letting them see a little more of you.
And lastly, if the intent is a little more salacious, there’s always the option of gifting something that invites intimacy. A vibrator, a massage candle, an oil. The list goes on. The appeal isn’t that a sex-adjacent gift guarantees anyone will get in the mood. It’s that, when chosen with care and given without expectation, it can be an invitation to explore what feels good together.
It’s better to give and receive.
After all, the most effective gift isn’t necessarily the most expensive or elaborate. It’s the one that makes someone feel considered. And if it leads to a little extra time together between the holidays, all the better.
