For when long-distances or quarantine keeps you apart.
The evolution of technology has allowed us to stay connected in a myriad of ways, even when we’re responsibly socially distancing. However, for some, the loss of physical intimacy has been a huge stumbling block. How can we keep that sexual spark alive when we’re living in unprecedented times?
Of course, seeing someone through a computer or phone screen is vastly different than being able to hold and caress them in person, but that doesn’t mean that virtual sex can’t be an exciting and invigorating new sexual frontier to get your imagination percolating.
While phone sex is stellar for those who want to brush up on your communication skills, some people prefer to engage in sexual acts that are a little more visually stimulating. Enter video sex: the more visually stimulating sex act you can do no matter where you and your partner are located. Around the world? Not a problem.
Set the Mood
Trust us, it’s all about the vibe! Just because you’re not able to give your partner a massage doesn’t mean you can’t set the stage for a steamy virtual session. Find a quiet place in your house where you won’t be bothered by outside noise.
Then, experiment with ambiance by lighting a candle or dimming the lights. Spend some time setting the scene by having a virtual dinner together with a glass of wine before getting down to business. If eating before sex isn’t your thing, perhaps spend some time curating a playlist you can both hit play to. Curating a similar environment will allow the two of you to feel connected visually beyond just seeing each other’s bodies.
Use your imagination
The ability to see, but not touch is one of the most gloriously frustrating turn-ons there is—so lean in. Even though you are able to see your partner's surroundings, don’t be shy about creating an alter-ego or setting up a sexy scene that allows both of your imaginations to run wild.
Even though it might feel unnatural at first to roleplay through a video call, you might eventually find it freeing. Allowing yourself to take risks in the role you’re playing and the let go of inhibitions can make the session one to remember.
Take a virtual date-night to the next level
Allow the night to take you on a journey. Perhaps the night starts with an intimate conversation on your patio, before moving inside to the kitchen table for a cocktail. After drinks, you both move into the bathroom for a quick soak. By emulating different stages of a romantic evening, you’re allowing the moment to build tension, making the inevitable release even sexier.
Have a conversation about consent
Whenever technology is involved, it’s important to discuss boundaries and consent in terms of where your steamy sessions will live. If your face or naked body are involved, both partner should have a frank discussion about recording or screenshotting. If you’re OK with your face being shown, or your partner keeping a recording of your session — you should convey that prior to the session starting. If having yourself recorded makes you uncomfortable, let your partner know that as well. Just because you’re unable to touch doesn’t mean that boundaries are unable to be crossed. Make sure you head into the session with strong mutual respect.
Think back on the last time you and your partner had an extremely steamy session — perhaps there was heavy cuddling and spooning that occurred afterward, or maybe you just stayed up for another hour talking about your future plans. Sometimes the afterglow of sex can be just as good as the act itself, so don’t lose this component when engaging in virtual sex. Take a few moments afterward to discuss what worked for each other, and what you’d omit the next time you both log-on to get off. That open communication is the key to making virtual sex not only a substitute to the real thing but an alluring alternative.
Video sex might feel foreign at first, but all the key components of good sex are still present. When you’re able to trust your partner and let go of feeling self-conscious, video sex becomes an exercise that is not only stimulating to your body but stimulating to your mind.