As a part of our maudern people series, we asked San Francisco-based buyer Gabriela Pelletier for insights on modern intimacy. Gabriela is a buyer and brand partnerships coordinator for cult-favorite brand and store Lisa Says Gah.
What is your relationship status?
Single
Right now intimacy in my own life looks like spending quality time with friends over a nice dinner that we cooked while pairing it with our favorite bottles of wine or spending time with them hiking where we talk and catch up but mostly laughing until we are in pain and those are moments I cherish. When I'm alone because I find it crucial to find time to myself to recharge. I enjoy going on long walks listening to podcasts or just doing things that make my body feel good like stretching, exercise, or sleeping in longer than I "allow" myself. Intimacy when alone also looks like having days to myself without a plan feels luxurious to me and helps me reset for the week ahead.
Pandemic aside my job can be really social so I usually meet people through travel, work contacts/work gatherings, etc. I also meet a lot of wonderful people through trusted and mutual friends and even sometimes the internet where those online connections become real life.
Call me old-fashioned but dating apps aren't for me. I understand the appeal but I don't enjoy connecting that way especially when dating. I much prefer to meet someone by chance which is how I've met some of the most loving partners that led to healthy courtship. My other preferred favorite way is to be introduced by a trusted friend who knows me and also knows this mystery person that way they are vetted.
A turn-off for me is lack of ambition or direction and I think we all would agree that superficiality is a no. Something I look for is humor, someone who is ambitious, hard-working but isn't afraid to be silly. I also look for someone who is a good communicator from the get-go along with Individuality, someone who knows how to compromise, someone who is consistent, and a problem solver.
I'm listened and responded to and when my partner does something thoughtful like sending an unexpected sweet note when he's thinking of me or just picking up the phone and giving me a call. Overall small random acts of kindness.
Jesse and Céline from the Before Trilogy. Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, and Before Midnight.
When my partner can apologize. Apologizing Shows me he can empathize and considers my feelings and respects me. Sweet eye contact and physical affection like touching my neck, hands, or hair in the lightest of ways.
A day activity we share like going to a museum, riding bikes, or laying in the park. A good movie night in where we order our favorite food and just enjoy each other's company, energy, and embrace.
Sashimi or no food at all to ya know maximize the mood.
Dry martini with Tito's and two olives
Cómo Me Quieres by Khruangbin.
This is advice I've taken from myself and those around me forever and of course, a lot is learned in trial and error when dating over the years but this is my golden principle always. Invest in yourself. Invest the same amount of energy of love, compassion, support, understanding, and compromise into yourself. Stop putting yourself second giving all of that amazing energy to those who aren't able to receive it. It's not your job period. Focus on building a foundation that no one and no relationship can shatter.
What is your relationship status?
Single
In your day to day life, how do you make time for intimacy?
Right now intimacy in my own life looks like spending quality time with friends over a nice dinner that we cooked while pairing it with our favorite bottles of wine or spending time with them hiking where we talk and catch up but mostly laughing until we are in pain and those are moments I cherish. When I'm alone because I find it crucial to find time to myself to recharge. I enjoy going on long walks listening to podcasts or just doing things that make my body feel good like stretching, exercise, or sleeping in longer than I "allow" myself. Intimacy when alone also looks like having days to myself without a plan feels luxurious to me and helps me reset for the week ahead.
How do you meet people?
Pandemic aside my job can be really social so I usually meet people through travel, work contacts/work gatherings, etc. I also meet a lot of wonderful people through trusted and mutual friends and even sometimes the internet where those online connections become real life.
What is your stance on dating apps? What is a turn-off or something you look for?
Call me old-fashioned but dating apps aren't for me. I understand the appeal but I don't enjoy connecting that way especially when dating. I much prefer to meet someone by chance which is how I've met some of the most loving partners that led to healthy courtship. My other preferred favorite way is to be introduced by a trusted friend who knows me and also knows this mystery person that way they are vetted.
A turn-off for me is lack of ambition or direction and I think we all would agree that superficiality is a no. Something I look for is humor, someone who is ambitious, hard-working but isn't afraid to be silly. I also look for someone who is a good communicator from the get-go along with Individuality, someone who knows how to compromise, someone who is consistent, and a problem solver.
You feel the most loved when_
I'm listened and responded to and when my partner does something thoughtful like sending an unexpected sweet note when he's thinking of me or just picking up the phone and giving me a call. Overall small random acts of kindness.
A favorite literary or on-screen romance:
Jesse and Céline from the Before Trilogy. Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, and Before Midnight.
Unexpected turn-on:
When my partner can apologize. Apologizing Shows me he can empathize and considers my feelings and respects me. Sweet eye contact and physical affection like touching my neck, hands, or hair in the lightest of ways.
The perfect date:
A day activity we share like going to a museum, riding bikes, or laying in the park. A good movie night in where we order our favorite food and just enjoy each other's company, energy, and embrace.
Your in the mood food:
Sashimi or no food at all to ya know maximize the mood.
Drink of choice:
Dry martini with Tito's and two olives
A sexy or intimate song you love:
Cómo Me Quieres by Khruangbin.
Dating advice to your younger self:
This is advice I've taken from myself and those around me forever and of course, a lot is learned in trial and error when dating over the years but this is my golden principle always. Invest in yourself. Invest the same amount of energy of love, compassion, support, understanding, and compromise into yourself. Stop putting yourself second giving all of that amazing energy to those who aren't able to receive it. It's not your job period. Focus on building a foundation that no one and no relationship can shatter.
What your parents said about love and relationships:
Know your worth. Never sacrifice yourself, goals, and needs. Have standards and know your deal-breakers. Your partner or someone you are dating should always treat you with respect period no matter how many dates you've been on. Always pay attention to their actions, not their words.
Favorite scent:
Anything with notes of Jasmine or Gardenia
