February 15th is the best day of the year.
The thing about the month of February is that it’s generally bad. It’s like the color gray in calendar form—bleak, drab, cold. But even so, there remains one small case to be made for its redemption. And no, I am not referring to Valentine’s day. Allow me to sell you on The Fifteenth.
While directly next door to Valentine’s Day—Valentine’s unholy cousin, if you will—February 15th is certainly the more fortuitous of the two. Why, you ask?
Well, to start, it’s a matter of economics. There are a number of valuable goods (snacks) that immediately drop in price between the 14th and the 15th. The logic here is simple: The market for heart-shaped chocolates is notably slim after midnight strikes on V day. Is this an environmental concern? Yes. Should we stop demanding that each holiday distribute its own particular geometric shape of chocolate? Yes. But for the time being, take advantage of the present super sale and stock up on synthetic sugar.
Culinary goods aside, though, there’s still more financial gain to be had. Check your favorite wine stores, your most beloved lingerie brands, your go-to sleepwear vendor. It’s highly likely that anything at all marketed specifically to V day will show a mark-down in price—so now’s your chance. Contrary to what the commercial gods that be would have you believe, there is no single date per year on which we ought to celebrate love and intimacy with sugar and lingerie. Romance and appreciation (be they shared or internalized) are full-time jobs. So go get you some discount flowers. Then, once you’ve purchased yourself a gift (or seven), let’s address the experiential.
You know how you’ve been dying to eat at that standing-room-only sushi counter with the 14-year waitlist? Your time is now. Everyone who is a) in a relationship or b) feels committed to celebrating a lame pseudo-holiday like Galentine’s Day, balled out last night. Reservations are wide open! Walk-ins will be accepted! Dinners out will taste good, even when they don’t occur on the sacred 14th of February!
And best of all, on this day in particular, you can rest easy knowing that there will be 364 more days until you’re once again subject to several thousand grammatically questionable Instagram declarations of monogamous love.
I Love Lucy, 1952