Add a little danger to your solo time.
Among the more spirited (British) masturbation euphemisms, “wanking” is hardly a niche term. The verb classifies as household slang, used crudely and affectionately by millions. The same cannot be said, however, of the “danger wank”—allow us to enlighten you.
Per the wisdom of ye olde Urban Dictionary, a danger wank classifies as, “the act of extreme masturbation.” And what, exactly, makes a bit of self pleasure extreme? Well, the deed must occur “whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. And ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes to investigate. Naturally, the higher the likelihood of being caught in the act, the more dangerous the wank.
So what, exactly, is the appeal, you may ask—in a world where a perfectly safe wank is readily available to you? Well, most obviously, there’s something to be said for the inherent fear that accompanies the potential for “getting caught.” In many ways, stress of that nature is, well, a turn-on. The thrill will up your heart rate, inciting a spike in libido, thus elevating the whole masturbatory experience.
There are benefits that runs deeper, too. The catharsis of rubbing one out ahead of an impending event are manifold. Your date will arrive soon, you’ve got a major work presentation, you’re about to meet your partner’s parents. These are the high-stakes scenarios in which, yes, getting caught masturbating could be lethal. At the same time, they’re precisely the sorts of events for which the notable relief of preemptive orgasm might be a godsend. For one, the act of masturbating helps flush cortisol, the hormone linked to stress, out of your body, leaving you calm and clear-headed (a strong case for pairing a brief wank sesh with your morning coffee before work). Moreover, when it comes to getting off before a romantic occasion like a date, orgasm increases circulation and blood flow. The famous “O Glow” is real: Your skin will shine, your lips will plump, and you’ll have some natural rosy undertones to your cheeks. Plus, it can help relieve some of the surplus sexual tension in the room.
Perhaps most importantly, though, orgasm releases endorphins in your brain — which help boost your mood. Whether you’re prepping yourself for a difficult conversation or an exhausting event, the infamous danger wank could be like a little shot of joy — perhaps precisely what you need to make it through your day alive.
