For couples, the secret to building desire and arousal isn’t always about the physical act of sex. In fact, the anticipation of sex can be even more powerful. There’s even a word for it: simmering.
Arousal without the sex. As life gets busier, even the most dedicated couples can find it hard to make time for sex. Simmering is a way of strengthening an erotic bond without actually engaging in any sexual activity—and it often need only take up a few minutes of your time.
Think back to your teenage romance and that intoxicating desire you felt for one another, but often weren’t able to act upon because you couldn’t find a place to be alone together without being interrupted by your parents/siblings/teachers. So you made do with stolen kisses, lingering embraces, and inhaling the scent of each other’s hair and skin to tide you over.
That’s the art of simmering. So how do we do it in among the insanely busy moments of our lives?
Simmering in action. Instead of giving your partner a quick peck on the lips when you say goodbye in the morning, take a few moments to pull them in closely, feeling the warmth of their body against you, and breathing in the scent of their skin and hair. Then leave them with a gentle but lingering kiss.
Or when you’re out in public or at an event, engage in the odd flirtatious glance or meaningful graze against each other’s body, as if you were teenagers caught up in a yet-to-be-consummated romance.
It’ll likely do wonders for your sex life.
Read more about the art of simmering.