time for a vibe check.
So much of sex is about navigating relational dynamics – whether it be with one other person or multiple, there are always preferences, feelings, boundaries, and needs to consider. Now, don’t get me wrong – this can be a thrilling landscape to navigate. But it also takes work. And sometimes, well, it’s simply more fun to go solo.
While masturbation is no longer the taboo topic it once was, shaking off the shame or nervousness that sometimes accompanies self-pleasure is no small feat. Reader, this is where the vibes are of paramount importance. Setting the mood isn’t just about lighting a candle (although, to be clear, we love a good candle) – it’s about curating an overall mood that enables maximum pleasure. Whether it’s been a while or you’re just looking to shake things up, keep reading for five ways to make your next solo sex session extra satisfactory.
Find a new playlist – or podcast
Old habits die hard, but here’s the thing: a fresh auditory experience can do wonders for your sex life. Curate a new playlist that’s exclusively for you, or dip your toes into some podcast porn like the “Erotic Audio” series from Audio Desires. New voices, new sounds, and new stories will all help contribute to the feeling that there is more to discover during solo sex play – even, or especially, if you’re the only one in the room.
Treat yourself
Going out on a cute date with your partner feels like an obvious prerequisite to an intimate night at home, but when was the last time you wined and dined yourself? Solo sex is not a consolation prize nor should it be relegated to the banal domain of convenience. Prioritize yourself, buy the candle, and see how far a perspective shift alone can take you.
Brush up on your sex ed
An old adage that’s particularly relevant to sex: you don’t know what you don’t know. Improving your solo sex life means educating yourself on your own preferences as well as what’s possible with the introduction of, say, some lube or a new toy.
Buy a new toy
Toys are tools. While solo sex is by definition a solitary venture, that doesn’t mean you have to be entirely without assistance. This strategy most certainly falls under the umbrella of “treat yourself” but is arguably in a league of its own given the utilitarian value.
Switch it up
Has masturbation become something akin to a chore? Routine has a habit of killing spontaneity, and sometimes an unexpected element is key to fostering some excitement. So, by all means: do it on a different day, a different time, or a different location – sky’s the limit. Variety, in other words, is your best friend.
