The whole point of having sex is to orgasm, right? Wrong.
For many of us, orgasms can be extremely elusive (on average, women only experience them 31–40% of the time), but that doesn’t mean we still can’t have a rollicking good time during sex. In fact, the less focus we put on ourselves to climax, the more we’re likely to enjoy it.
So if orgasms aren’t the point of sex, what is?
Trite as it may sound, when it comes to good sex, it’s not about the destination (read, climax), but rather the journey. That thrill of the first brush of skin upon skin. The ecstatic shiver that comes from a gentle nuzzle of the neck. All of that is pleasure to be savored, but if you’re so focused on whether or not you (and your partner/s) are going to orgasm, you’re unlikely to notice much of any of it.
The truth of it is that we can have fulfilling, healthy sex lives without regular orgasms. The key is to let go of ego and expectations (remember our guide to mindful sex?).Read more about why we should stop worrying about having orgasms here.