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ask maude: keeping desire in long-distance relationships | maude - sex made simple.

ask maude: keeping desire in long-distance relationships

credit: Photo by Sean Mungur on Unsplash
My guy and I are long distance and that can obviously get in the way of our sex life. Any tips?
— Bicoastal Lover, New York.



Dear Bicoastal,

There’s nothing like a few thousand miles to put a dampener on passion. But don’t lose heart—done right, long-distance relationships can be even sexier than the IRL version.

Even though you only get to do the physical deed once in a while, work on building the passion from afar, which can make sex a whole more satisfying on the occasions that you do see each other.

Just as you would with any relationship, you need to put in the effort. If you both get busy in your individual lives, it can be easy to let the sexual side of things fall by the wayside. But there are plenty of ways to keep that desire stoked.

Try watching a sexy foreign film together—the Netflix Party extension for Chrome allows you to watch the same Netflix show together and includes synchronized playback and a group chat option. It’s like a virtual snuggle on the couch, but way hotter.

And that leads me to my next point. If you haven’t already, you’ll also need to get comfortable with phone sex—or, if you’re a more visual person, FaceTime or Skype sex—and try to do it regularly, just as you would if you were living in the same city. The great thing about phone sex is that you have to describe everything, which means your general communication with each other is likely to improve and you’ll probably get a whole lot better at talking dirty.

On that note, Bicoastal, even the odd dirty text to let your partner know they’re on your mind can help build the anticipation. Or send them a good old-fashioned love letter in the mail telling them everything you’d like to do to them the next time you see them—and throw in a few saucy photos of yourself for good measure. Believe me, it’ll convince them that it’s worth the wait.

Your partner in pleasure,


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