ask maude: how to get your mojo back

03 17 19 — ask maude
Got any tips on getting my mojo back?
— Feeling Deflated, New Mexico

Dear Feeling,

It can be disheartening when you feel like your sex drive is waning—or you’re not in the mood for sex at all. Especially when you’re in a relationship and your partner is trying to initiate sex with you.

There are several reasons why your mojo may have gone AWOL. It could be related to a hormone imbalance, physical changes in your genitals (such as the thinning of tissue), or even thyroid problems or other disorders. If you suspect that this might be the case, it’s a good idea to see a doctor to make sure it’s not a medical issue.

There are also other lifestyle factors that could be dampening your drive—and, fortunately, there are things you can do about them.

Number one: Are you getting enough sleep? A lack of shut-eye can put your hormones out of whack, so try going to bed at the same time each night and make sure you’re getting at least seven to eight hours of snooze time.

Stress can also be a serious mojo killer. Is there something at work that you’re anxious about but might not be acknowledging? Instead of bottling it up inside, try talking to someone—a friend or even a therapist—or journaling about it. Meditation, yoga, or even a long, hot bath can also help reduce stress.

Another way to boost your endorphins—which can help kick-start your libido—is to pull on those running shoes and get the blood pumping with some regular exercise. It’s also a great way to clear your head of that aforementioned stress and feel more energized for other things … like sex.

And finally, Feeling, don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about it. It may be a matter of learning to cultivate intimacy with each other, or injecting your sex life with variety—which could mean anything from trying a new position, to opening up to your relationship.

Your partner in pleasure,